Yesterday I went for the grocery shopping – first trip after leaving my older daughter, Kriti at her college campus. Since I left her for her freshman year on campus 5 days ago, it has been a huge adjustment.

There has been a void that is hard to fill.

I knew I will miss her but didn’t know how bad.

Yesterday’s grocery shopping trip was a rude awakening of our family going from a size of 4 to 3. In the produce section I stopped at pear section but didn’t buy. Kriti is the only one in our family who likes Pear and with her gone, I don’t need to buy. I had to think at every stand whether to buy that item or not. Standing in front of cheese aisle and just staring at various flavors brought tears in my eyes because there is no one who eats cheese at home right now. It was a very strange experience and there’s nothing to compare it with.

For last 5 days, I have been drowning myself in work. And that kept my mind off this emotional turmoil. The minute I pause or take a break, her face comes in front of my eyes, and I miss her so bad.

As I walk around, I see her pictures on the wall all over the house.

I’m in the same house where she started walking, where she had her birthday parties and where she dressed for her high school prom. It’s hard not to miss her.

This is in spite of the fact that I have always been a very busy, ambitious and career-oriented mom. I never baked cupcakes for my kids. I never ran with a Band-Aid when they fell. In fact, I even forgot to pick them up few times. I’m far from a perfect soccer mom. I always kept my career on the forefront and blended life and kids with it.

I know it’s all good. It’s cycle of nature. I also know that she is happy, busy, and excited to be in a new environment. She may miss us once in a while, but she has many new things to think about, new places to explore and new friends to make. I know she will go places and rise to great heights.

And that gives me comfort. I can deal with pain, but I don’t want her to have that pain.

 Time is a great healer and I’ll wait for it to do its magic.

#DiaryofaWimpyMom #tellyourstody #collegeadmisisons